Holiday In Holland Scooter Rally

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HiH RALLY 2001




All you scooterists out there who have been to Holland before can probably skip the next couple of paragraphs, but for those of you who have not been or are thinking of going a bit of background will probably help.

  Holland is a scooterist heaven. Good roads, courteous drivers, cheap petrol. Oh yeah, and drugs and women of the night and late bar licenses. The stuff of dreams really - and it’s all legal. They must also have a law that states that all ugly women are smothered at birth coz we sure as hell didn’t see any in the week long trip.

  First stop for myself and new Ronnie Biggs S.C. member Simo was, of course, Amsterdam, and for £4 per head inc. shower the Gaasterplas campsite was spot-on, especially with a metro to Amsterdam Centrum where we got stuck into our cultural day out. After an hour we decided culture really sucked and headed for the Red Light District where we were privileged to enjoy the time-honoured frolics of the fair ladies, such as punching a Jap tourist in the head and belting a froggie in the head with a brass ashtray from 20 feet. So take the hint boys - never ever photograph the hookers - they go feral really quickly. Being the respectable types ourselves though we amused ourselves by getting wankered in a bar and timing the punters in the brothels. 14 minutes was the longest we timed - which probably explains why they have to go to a Tom in the first place!

  Mind you, it probably didn’t help as we insisted on yelling their performance times at them from the pub as they scuttled away. And we wonder why the English abroad have a bad name . . .

  Next stop (Tuesday) was Ermelo/Puttin where we found very quickly there was absolutely nothing at all to do. However, this is where Holland comes into its own and as they all speak English in some shape or form it was easy to chat away to the locals in the town square. So that’s what we did and thoroughly enjoyed it too.

  Early start for Wednesday as we knew we had a full day ahead and by 10am we were full bore for Arnhem central. The 1940-45 War Museum was superb, with volunteer guides outlining the Dutch history of WWII (did you know for example they had 50,000 SS volunteers - no neither did I - fascinating stuff).

  John Frost Bridge (the bridge) was next, followed by an afternoon at the British 1st Airbourne Memorial Museum - which was dedicated to the inspirational stand by British and Polish Paratroopers in September 1944. I know loads of British Scooter Boys made the effort to go there and it was a highlight of the week.

  So then it was Thursday and time to get to the rally in Borculo. The chosen venue was the Kerkemeijer Campsite, home to previous rallies. The organisers, as always, were Hidden Power S.C. (Germany) and the Speed Demons S.C. (Germany and S.E. England) who had promised a “banzai weekend”. Kamikaze more like.

  We were first on site but by evening fall at least 60 German lads had turned up to get a mini party going in the bar. Most were riding seriously trick Vespas which really were way ahead of most British scooters there. Thursday was pretty chilled, exploring the site which boasted a large main hall (with stage), a smaller hall and a tiny cellar dedicated to Mod/60’s sounds. The place itself was immaculately clear and the only small complaint was a shortage of showers and toilets as the place filled up.

  In scorching sunshine, Friday arrived. So did the Mansfield Monsters, en-masse and naked. Yup, naked. Nutters. By mid-afternoon at least 400 were on site, of which 398 came by scooter. Speed Demons and Hidden Power actively discourage car drivers - they are not wanted - and whilst for £8 (inc. patch) you get in by scoot, if you come by car they charge you as much as they can get away with. Top men.

  Most Germans seemed content to smoke and drink on site but the majority of Brits headed for town to warm up for Friday nights do. By 10pm the do was still empty but come 11.30 it was really starting to cook. A ‘no band’ policy this year meant the DJ’s could go to town - especially Speed Demon’s Steve who played a ripping set from start to finish. I can’t describe the do. It was mental. Everyone was either loved-up, pissed-up or both, and were dancing on the stage, the bar, the tables and even the dance floor itself. It didn’t matter what was played, Northern, Techno, Punk, Indie, the party raged unabated, non-stop, 110%, full-on, no quarter asked or given from the punters or the DJ’s until about 4.30am when the main room had to close. Some tried to sleep, other die-hards continued in the ‘moddy’ room or around their tents, but the real smarties headed to the camping field mini bar. Why I hear you ask? Simple!

  The silly Berger from the site had gone to bed and left the beer on! Free beer till 8am for all and the end of an amazing night.

  Battered remains of what were once human beings emerged from tents around midday to discover that whilst they were sleeping someone had deposited an extra 400+ scooters and tents on the site, which had now expanded to 3 fields. The rideout to the swimming lakes was a welcome diversion to escape the 30º+ heat, and approx 100 scoots left for the 30km ride (not 5k’s eh lads?) to Enschede to cool off. Once there the sudden descent of white wobbly scooter boys prompted many Dutch parents to cover their childrens eyes to protect them from the demon sight of what we know as an Englishman in his shorts! Thoroughly sickened by all the white fat on show I decided to enjoy a leisurely ride back to site but got lost and missed the custom show, which apparently didn’t matter as half the people couldn’t get their scoots out of the field anyway as it was chokablock. The arrival of an English scooterist caused a stir as the poor bugger had got stuck behind a muck-spreader which lost its load and covered the poor bloke in liquid shite from head to toe! He then had to ride a further 20 miles with all this muck hardening on him and his scoot. Enjoy the rideout Simo?

  Again peeps wandered into town, chilled about or checked their scoots on the dyno machine, waiting for the do to start at 10pm. As it was a stag night for (I think) one of the Monsters the lad was treated to a stripper and a full on made up rendition of YMCA from the British Speed Demons. A big cheers to Dawn from Thornaby S.C. for sneaking on stage to take the pictures.

  If Friday was mental, Saturday night was suicidal with the party edging even closer to total meltdown. The excesses of Friday were surpassed two-fold with everyones chemical and alcohol ingestion going through the roof. It was like an oven with sweat evaporating before hitting the floor and the turbo-charged scootering hardcore raged and raved into the Dutch night. You couldn’t stop if you wanted to, it was that good, and to be honest no-one wanted to stop anyway. Classic after classic filled the air at 1000 decibels driving your feet to dance and dance and dance until everyone was totally immersed in the wonderful experience known as Holiday In Holland.

  And then it was over. 6am came, the music finished and it was time to rest up before the 150 mile ride to the ferry ports or the return home to Germany. Organisers put the numbers at over 1,000, of which only 30 were in cars. Mostly English and German, there were a few Scots, French,Belgian and Dutch lads and on the whole everything was mellow. This was one of the most full-on weeks of my life. I’m already saving for next year.

  To the Speed Demons and Hidden Power - “Banzai!”

Andy Bayes, Ronnie Biggs S.C.



Furthest Travelled Solo: Jason Duncan, Scotland.

Furthest Travelled Club: Pacemakers SC, Bavaria.

Best Vespa: ‘Immortal Memories’, Peter Werhand.

Best Lambretta & Best Overall: ‘Shock’.

Best Dynojet Output: Andy Worbel (Filthy & Sly/Heartbreaker SC) over 39 hp!

Egg Gauntlet: Addo & Heini, VDT R.K.

Beer & Banana Race: Team Scotland.

Best Vintage: TV200 from Belgium MGL 915.

Best Auto: Eminem Italjet Dragster.

Best Chopper/Cutdown: Maik Ediger PX200.



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 Page last updated 23 December 2002

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