Holiday In Holland Scooter Rally

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Holiday In Holland 2004

The pieman cometh (onto the ferry)


HiH is automatic-friendly. As long as you come by scooter you are welcome. Car drivers can fuck off.

Ever wondered what to do with all that plastic scooter shite from your local dealer? The Munich Blues lead a revival of 1980s scooter accessories. How sad . . .

TAFSC members acting as 'scarecrows' on the gate. They gallantly volunteered to wear yellow shirts to keep wasps and insects away from the paying punters

Oi Bill, where's Ben? "Flob-a-lob", said Bill after seeing the candyman.

Full-face lids and flip-flops. Proper HiH style.

I like to move it!

DJ Bio spinning Demis Rousos classics in the main room. "one day someone will re-mix this and they'll ruin it"

Note to self: next time I fall over when off my head in Amsterdam, remember to put my hands out first.

The eyes have it!

Ready for the rideout

Mystery woman - nice scoot, nice legs but what about the boat? We never found out.

Scooters and riders from as far apart as Greece, Norway and Salford (wherever that is!).

Riders block the traffic to keep the group together.

Nearing Het Rutbeek swimming lake. The helmet of the guy riding pillion on the Runner was last used on the set of Battlestar Galactica

Waterski riding is free for rally-goers. So is drowning.


Spooner vs Simon 'beetroot-head' Cuerden at the quartermile sprint

Nice fast smallframe which wins the up to 175cc class, but sadly bought by van. Next time the sprint will be ridden scooters only.

The TAFSC boys ensure the sprint runs smoothly.

German racers in the over 175cc class.

Sprinting gives Dave the horn.

The sprinting is delayed several times while 'crazy Dutch bastards' keep trying to use 'their' road. The army guys show of their highly prized ex-Iraqi tank.

"When I'm not taking sprint scooters to rallies by van, I like to visit The Cock Ring in Amsterdam on leather joy boy night, how about you?"

The Vodka Slush-puppy stand caused a few casualties.

None worse than this freak though . . .

The whizz isn't working lads.

The condemned man awaits the hangman

Perhaps its not so bad afterall.

The blonde tries to tune in to Swinging Radio Enschede's tractor-pulling results show.

My dad said the strippers would put hair on my chest. What went wrong?

The giant spheres from The Prisoner were sent to chase people out of the do at the end.

CLUB CASUALTY NO1: Pat ('gripping hands Action Man') Speed Demon, prior to the terminal Sunday session. Later retrieved fully dressed from the shower at 3am on Monday. Oh dear.


CLUB CASUALTY No2. Markus ('it's ok I'm a regular on the floor') Speed Demon who managed to not only stand up on Sunday but ride home too. When HiH finishes Betty Ford's work begins.

CASUALTY No3: Twice we bought this fucked-up spaz to Holland to entertain the crowds with his singing and dancing. Last year he broke a guitar string, this time he snapped his brain and his larynx. Pathetic!

Like many clubs, Burton Brewers printed their own shirts especially for the rally

(and spent a lot of money at Biffo the Clown's Comedy Hat and Trouser Emporium)


The Thursday session gets messy

No Fletch, no!

follow the crocodile, or else!

sweating, gurning - that'll be Tesco on the wheels of steel then

the tree-lined avenues of the rideout

usual suspects in the town

No, but that 'tache is

DJ Jimbo from Swinging Radio Queen Mary's Hospital Sidcup

Yes Miles, we would too - even with the facial hair

nobody parties harder (a few Demons excepted)

She's got the moves (from Hollywoods in Romford)

Super Cooper from Hamburg

Vinyl Lionels only in the soul room

time tunnel vision

the legend that is Chuckles

Chuck invited some friends along.

No not that sort of scooter you daft old twat.

The Burton boys extend the party at 6am

Invisible basketball spinning was a big hit this year. Blue-haired Max helps him get started.

. . . as was invisible cricket.

. . . invisible ladder climbing.

. . . ready to roll at invisible roulette

. . .invisible Morris Dancing with Mick Gauntlet in the rave room. Dave decided to sit this one out - and the next 20 too . . .

Oh Grolsch, what did you make me do last night?

Even beer can't explain this.

. . . or this - and he's stuck with that face.

. . . or this. Being fisted by a midget?

While I was whizzing I thought it would be a good idea to try and find that rattle. Now I'm not so sure.

meep meep

Look for the last fucking time, I'm Spartacus ok!

You crazy Dutch bastard

What has this got in common with Steve's leg?                      Lots of unnecessary metal additions . . .

2004 - year of the smallframe Vespa

(idle) Eric and friends

You only get this quality sound and lighting rig at HiH

Oi, have you seen Damon?

cool T-shirt

pensive, perhaps

Come to Brighton? I'd rather come on your boat.

How to get a head in scootering

There's a little guy from Hamburg looking for you lads

we're going to get married!

Who's your dentist. We'll get the bastard

who puts this on again?

Demon or Dragon, you decide

On the left ex-Demon Kalle, on the right photo-meister and follower of Jah Markus during one of his rare upright appearances

Dutch Policeman: "In Holland these forks are not possible." I think you'll find that they are.

Miranda has seen Damon

The lad from Morcambe Trojans doesn't know what he's risking.

Andi and the Worb 5 dyno



1. Nathan the Singing Spaz performing a five-hour set outside the do from 5am Saturday morning before knackering his voice - doh!

2. The dripping candle-wax part of the second strip show

PLEASE NOTE - both of the above are large AVI files and should only be downloaded if you have a broadband connection (a fat pipe, baby)




















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 Page last updated 09 August 2005

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